brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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