She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
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On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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