Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize