tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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