at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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