i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
