The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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