I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
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