it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
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