Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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