would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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