This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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