i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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