Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
