ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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