So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
