Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
