okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
