So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's blow job season.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
