You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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