whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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