I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
