this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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