ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
