ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
