Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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