She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
