A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
