she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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