from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
