she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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