Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
