I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
