Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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