I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize