dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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