How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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