so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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