Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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