Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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