Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
and you fell through a lawn chair
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
