What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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