there was a trapeze. enough said
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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