He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
