Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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