dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
