I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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