all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
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