I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
