I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
