It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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