Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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