Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize