just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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