I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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