idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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