More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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