Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
