yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
