i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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