ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The air was thick with penises
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
