Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
