my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
