just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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