i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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