She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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