If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
